I delayed writing this entry, because I have been studying, and listening. And again, listening. And listening to others, and educating myself.
And I’ve decided, as a white woman with Liberal sympathies, that’s the best thing to do. I am not an expert on ANYTHING. You can’t please everybody, so goes the adage, and trying to pleases nobody.
So I guess what I’m saying is I have an opinion on public affairs yes, but this is not the forum for it. This is a creative forum. I wrote to my friend Andy about this, and he pointed out I am also part of a “vulnerable” population. By this, I am not comparing myself to anyone nor anything or idea. But yes, I am mentally ill, so truthfully, I know stigma. But that does not give me any right to comment on even anyone else’s mental illness. Especially when I’m not sure how well I understand my own mental illness.
We all have our own struggles, and some have it harder than others, and yet, I cannot give my opinion in public. And that is only because I HAVE NO RIGHT TO. They say in AA, “Remain teachable”. So that’s what I’m trying to do.
In my book, The End of it All: From Escort to Cohort to Consort, I talk about the end of the world, and what happens in it. This book was envisioned and written in 2015-2016. Little did I know, how close to home it would hit. When Andy called me “vulnerable”, he had no idea how scary the past few months had been for me. My friends at St. Ignatius in 1995 and I used to run around joking, “The Apocalypse is nigh!”, little imagining we would see it. If, in fact this is it, I don’t want to leave the planet on bad terms with anybody. Andy in his email, wrote that perhaps I would write a piece that would help inspire or provide healing, and I think in Escort, I already did.
This is a snippet from one piece in the book, and I think it speaks to what’s next. From “Hymn to an Escort #5 / November”
“I can’t remember what it’s like in November
My world was an outsider’s view –
Insular, celibate, affordable housing given –
My ladies on the front lines,
So it is written,
May your sins be forgiven.”
In this, I pray to speak to the most important issue of the day – vote. My mom always said, “If you don’t vote, you don’t have a right to complain.” And if you’d like to email or otherwise contact your public officials, do that too. I have been doing so privately. To all the people braver than me taking a stand, be well. Be safe. Keep fighting. I love you.